“You do not realize your own situation. You are in prison. All you can wish for, if you are a sensible man, is to escape. But how escape?” said G. I. Gurdjieff.
“A man, if he is hungry, has a chance to come into contact with the beginning of a way. But besides hunger still other ‘rolls’ are necessary. Otherwise a man will not see the way”—also G. I. Gurdjieff.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8 KJV
Still feeling like summer in early October 2018 in Lawrence, Kansas, at a coffee house called Z’s Divine Espresso, the day of, or before, my Sunday, October 14th, 33rd birthday—Yea—I experienced enlightenment.
The White Light vision totally enveloped me, which faded in like a video crossfade from the ordinary, visible reality of the exterior world, to white, which actually was nothing but white—En-light-en-ment.
Then it faded back to “this density of reality”.
Sister Seraphique de la Martiniere describes well how it feels: “I cannot support it. Bear gently with my weakness, or I shall expire under the violence of your love.”
For me, that’s how it felt minutes before, during the White Light, and afterwards while I walked one mile home from that coffee house, able to sustain a heightened cosmogonic state of essence and being, because I was directly living inside of a miraculously higher mind of consciousness.
It’s like walking out of a movie theater in a divine trance. Everything is brighter. Though, instead of seeing captured motion picture frames, you actually see real WHITE, realer than a lamplit movie screen of white, and you’re outside on a bright sunny day. In this case, your eyes don’t hurt from the light, like when leaving a movie theater. The brilliance and brightness of this light is comforting, not blinding.
There are a series of stoplight and stop sign intersections on that sidewalk path that I took home. Never once did I even begin to think that the intersections would not be safe to traverse.
The first two intersections had crosswalk signals. The first stoplight intersection smaller. The second stoplight intersection, a more major intersection. Both illumined with the crosswalk signal the moment I set foot to cross. There was no prior anticipation of timing. No hesitation.
I was still walking, same speed. I decided to play with reality a bit like a child, and raised my right hand from my side in an arc up across my body to the left, my hand ending about a foot from my face. When I did this motion, I saw a small flock of birds fly parallel from where I began the motion, a real world symmetry.
Still walking. After taking in new awes, I then retracted my hand back from front to side, while at the same time oncoming traffic along this inner city, suburban commercial highway sprawl area, flowed in line with my hand. Another awe moment.
In these moments reality is flowing with me, and I it.
“As above, so below. As within, so without.”
It’s coming more and more together, too. I am realizing more about reality’s correlation to myself in this heightened sentience. Still walking, same speed.
The third intersection was a frontage road stop sign crosswalk, which is a T intersection crosswalk alongside this commercial highway. It’s impeded by a stopped line of vehicles, each in turn, pulling ahead of the stop sign into the crosswalk waiting to turn onto the busy traffic road.
I, with a heartfelt smile and warm heart, knew that my path would be clear upon arrival; faith, a forward anticipated identifiable theoretic hology. I simply, knew it would be the case while calculating it from all that was going on in my surroundings. The line of vehicles cleared in a matter or seconds before my crossing. I wasn’t counting.
I was living inside of a miracle. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin identifies this Divine Milieu as parousia. I was clearly able to see the wondrous cognitive framework of my “self-simulated” reality unto White Light, which Chris Langan is the first I have found to correctly identify and describe.
But I’m till walking, same speed. I know that this is a walk of faith after that last intersection, the T intersection. Such joy I am in, a kind of divine faith while reality aligns with me and I it, where reality has my back so to speak.
Then came the busiest intersection across that highway known in Lawrence, Kansas, as Iowa Street, which is also Highway 59 that I was walking alongside. I’m still walking, too, same speed. I know even better at this point that I am in cosmogonic alignment with my surroundings, so much that I have the ability to read it in a way that I can even not-so-surprisingly influence it with that faith consciousness. When you believe in great things, you know great things into existence.
I can see how busy the traffic has been this whole time. Normally, it might appear that it would not at all be safe for me to not stop walking this same speed, or even change my pace. But I kept going, internally with joy and a kind of contained hilarity, testing out my faith, zero inhibition.
And like the first two stoplight crosswalk signals, I put my head down in faith. This is the third stoplight crosswalk signal, the fourth traffic crosswalk on my path after beginning from the coffeehouse. As my foot was about to meet the road, I looked up, and visibly saw the signal turn to the walking man crosswalk sign.
At this point, I know I am in charge, and a wave of energy uplifts me more, a rejoice while walking. I’ve compared it before to the story of Moses parting the Red Sea. I don’t know if it was actually a real sea that he parted, but I would believe it if he did, because that is exactly the real power I felt when I walked across in front of a stilled, mechanical human audience at their wheels, which was otherworldly to me. Elated I was at such confirmation of the capabilities that faith has in self-generating reality. Lower orders of mechanical reality stood still for me, allowed me, bending to/from my extraordinary free will.
There are four more stop sign intersection crosswalks before home. All of them were passed with ease, still walking, same speed.
When I arrived in my front yard from the sidewalk journey, it was like crossing a finish line. I didn’t want to take it any more, and because there were people there I had to. So I intentionally decided to leave that cosmogonic state of reality, then willingly collapsing by letting go, falling to the grassy lawn, slowing letting the surreal, divine, Godly brightness of that whole long, grand sequence of miracles in a miracle slip away. The short explanation is because I still did not know God.
In The Varieties of Religious Experience by William James, “There is one form of sensory automatism which possibly deserves special notice on account of its frequency. I refer to hallucinatory or pseudohallucinatory luminous phenomena, photisms, to use the term of the psychologists. Saint Paul’s blinding heavenly vision seems to have been a phenomenon of this sort; so does Constantine’s cross in the sky. The last case but one which I quoted mentions floods of light and glory. Henry Alline mentions a light, about whose externality he seems uncertain. Colonel Gardiner sees a blazing light. President Finney writes:— ‘All at once the glory of God shone upon and round about me in a manner almost marvelous.... A light perfectly ineffable shone in my soul, that almost prostrated me on the ground.... This light seemed like the brightness of the sun in every direction. It was too intense for the eyes.... I think I knew something then, by actual experience, of that light that prostrated Paul on the way to Damascus. It was surely a light such as I could not have endured long.’”
There are so many instances. Those, above, are but a few.
In In Search of the Miraculous, by P. D. Ouspensky, a book I found in 2021, Gurdjieff states,
“If men could really see their true position and could understand all the horror of it, they would be unable to remain where they are even for one second. They would begin to seek a way out and they would quickly find it, because there is a way out; but men fail to see it simply because they are hypnotized. Kundalini is the force that keeps them in a hypnotic state. 'To awaken' for man means to be “dehypnotized”. In this lies the chief difficulty and in this also lies the guarantee of its possibility, for there is no organic reason for sleep and man can awaken.
“Theoretically he can, but practically it is almost impossible because as soon as a man awakens for a moment and opens his eyes, all the forces that caused him to fall asleep begin to act upon him with tenfold energy.”
To Gurdjieff, sin is anything that prevents either a man “on the way” from staying awake or keeps an automaton man from awakening, the same essentially.
He also states that there are two types of people. With one life happens, the other they do.
“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.” Luke 23:34 KJV.
No longer is it “they know not what they do” alone.
It’s they know not how to do, too.
© 2022 Eric Bock Hyde